and a little of that. Today’s mood. Mixed but hopeful.
I made a foolish promise on my Facebook page that I would add something every day.
I can barely manage feeding myself everyday. And my primary issue is the big and lovable bear who is officially my chauffeur. He came up with it, not me. He’s driving Miss Gracie and it gives him a chuckle. It makes him happy, but I have no control over my car. All or nothing seems to be the name of the game.
I really don’t mind. I went 5 years with being the primary driver. It being someone else’s responsibility eases my anxiety level. Besides, he’s not drinking anymore. For the most part. He needs AA and not just me or the doctors. He needs someone ELSE to talk to. His body, organs, have been punished too much, especially his kidneys and liver and pancreas. His diabetes has rocketed upwards and the food we eat through the Open Heart (Tri-Valley Soup Kitchen) isn’t diabetes friendly, or any place else serving food.
This morning, at Vineyard, they had croissants with egg and cheese, spaghetti and another pasta dish that supposedly had meat. I got no meat, the croissant was tasty and the pasta was gross. My “palate” wants low carb food for my health, but it receives little of that. Plenty of sugars though. So much Goddamn sugar/carbs.
This is a very difficult life to live, after residing in a house, cooking your own nutritious meals, having a bathroom available when nature calls. This type of life is dehumanizing.
I need to speak with my friend Sue and ask her if I can share her story. She is a beautiful woman and has been through so much heartache and physical pain all while being homeless. It’s tragic and disgusting in this nation where we find endless money to make sure we can kill the World 10 times over, there are more guns than people in the US (and too many individuals die at the hands of Domestic Terrorists – not foreign terrorists Trumplandians), Russia and North Korea ARE security risks for this Country – NOT UKRAINE (stop listening to that Traitor and his sycophants including Moscow Mitch or Dingbat David). The news out of Washington is frustrating the little I can gather from my phone and podcasts. Why I miss TV and Will doesn’t. I watch “boring” stuff, otherwise none as educational and topical. But, it’s not the Cardashian’s! To bad, gay-boy! Hehe.
Have to close down. Have an appointment with my therapist Pam.